Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
