Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize