I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
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My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
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I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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