Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
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It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
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You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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