My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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