I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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