I bet he comes in French.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize