I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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