Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize