would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize