He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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