So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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