You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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