sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
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THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
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Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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