please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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