i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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