if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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