i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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