I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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