all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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