she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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