Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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