Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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