Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize