the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize