My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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