Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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