I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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