i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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