If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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