omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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