not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize