i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize