How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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