u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
smell my finger.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
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That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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