I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
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Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
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Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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