But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
