this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
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If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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