FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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