Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
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I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
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We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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