I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize