Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
im on a boat
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