i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize