he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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