nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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