i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
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I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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