The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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