No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize