i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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