So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize