It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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